When did 24 hours get so short? Probably when I started working full-time. It's kind of distressing, really, how little time I feel like I have all of a sudden. In theory, I have Mondays and Tuesdays to myself after work, but the reality just isn't so. There are friends that want to hang out (and I want to see them, of course) and errands that need to be run and groceries that need to be purchased. Last year, when I worked part time, I spent nearly every afternoon with my grandparents. Now I'm lucky if I get to see them on Sundays for family dinner (which I haven't been bringing food to because I didn't have enough time to cook).
Some of my time is taken up by volunteering. It only works out to about 6 hours out of my total week, but it's dark by the time I'm done at this point in the year, so I feel like I should be done for the night. But honestly, I would feel like I was doing nothing for the world if I didn't spend those six hours giving my time and trying to get to know teens. I'm trying to start a love revolution here, and the days just keep getting shorter.
I'm finally starting to feel that American Way time crunch. Just how IS a person supposed to work full-time and still change the world in other ways? How are relationships supposed to function in an era of leaving one job to work another across town? How do families with young children even survive? I don't marvel at it; I think it's dysfunctional. But how do you argue with the way things are? I always thought that people who had to "pencil in" quiet time were complete basket cases whose lives were too busy. Now I put my schedule into my cell phone calendar. How can a person hear a still small voice above the sounds of other things demanding attention?
This is why I relished those 5-10 minutes of "open worship" at Friends Church. Once a week, I breathed. Usually, there was just enough time to break through feeling guilty for letting another week go by without a conscious attempt to listen to the Spirit before the sermon would begin. Maybe I should have gone to the Friends Meeting, where it's all open worship. Excuse me, I'm going to go breathe.
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1 comment:
Hannah~ I totally hear you! I've lived in the world of not enough time for so many years and I'm always trying to carve out a true 'sabbath' rest. But often homework or chores creeps in. I dream of a time when, no matter how full life is, I'm disciplined to take a real one-day break where there are no "shoulds" and nothing on the schedule. It makes all the difference.
I hear what you are saying too about silence, and as we want to include a variety of ways of worshiping together, from lots of traditions, this is a practice that I think we can engage in as well.
I like your blog!
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